He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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