Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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