Yo dont text me then not text me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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