i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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