I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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