8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
