she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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