So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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