i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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