that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
