she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize