Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
