you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
