He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize