my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
