he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
