i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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