they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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