Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
