i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
