i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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