I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
