two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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