Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
