Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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