Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
