i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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