he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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