none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize