can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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