seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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