is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
