i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
