Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
