omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize