I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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