just come out here and I will go home with you...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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