I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
