i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
