We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
