Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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