i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hippo gnu deer
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize