Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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