She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
