There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
