Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
