she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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