The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
