I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
