Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
