I am in a vortex of obligation.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
