Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
