At least make sure they are 18
Why
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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