Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
