i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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