im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
