well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
ttyl tear gas
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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