Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
