my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
