With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
