As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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