We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
that is very illegal...i love you.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
