i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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